One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
