get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
