My sheets look like a crime scene.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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