I want to make a zoo with you.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
