so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
