So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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