So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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