Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
