If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
