the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i will never coherently bang her
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
