he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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