just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
