i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
In America we eat man semen.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm at about main and main street
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
