dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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