Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
