She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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