I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
