then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
