Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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