I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i would punch a child for taco bell
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Dicks are not precious.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
