why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
