One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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