i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
