Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Who died my cat blue again?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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