um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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