In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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