Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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