No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
