My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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