And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
