I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
there's paper in my vomit.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
