Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
