I hate your face
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
