my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
