11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
