If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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