No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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