Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
