But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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