So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
