the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
