I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
