if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
