Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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