Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
