Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
