I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
