i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
