I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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