And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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