well I can't set my house on fire every night
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
