I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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